Gotta Have Vista

Column originally published 2-1-07

The next Vista in my life

By Kelvin Wade

For technophiles like me, the release of Microsoft's new Vista operating system this week is like Christmas. Since I've just got to have this new software, it stands to reason that I should just get a brand new laptop computer running it. The only hurdle is the usual hurdle: my girlfriend, Cathi.

What's not to love? The premium version of the new OS features a new interface which, according to Microsoft, "enables you to dynamically flip through your open programs in a three-dimensional, stacked view . . ." It also brings real time news, weather and other information to the desktop, offers better music and photo handling, an enhanced search engine, and stronger security measures.

It's been said that what separates men from boys is the price of their toys. I know a guy, Doug, whose passion is cars. He can turn a conversation on any subject back around to cars. My buddy Chumly is a gun nut and should probably be on some kind of Homeland Security watch list. My brother Orvis collects little cars and motorcycles that he plays with in his spare time, but I probably shouldn't be telling anyone about that.

I've come out of the closet as a computer geek. Ever since my first Atari 400 in 1982, I've loved computers. It was hard for me to accept being a geek because I don't fit the mold. I don't wear white shirts with black ties and pocket protectors. I didn't excel at math. Throw in my Hollywood good looks and Fonz-like success with the ladies and you could see how hard it was to come to terms with this.

So during a week where the computing world is transitioning to something new (or should I say the PC world is becoming more Mac-like), you can understand why I need a new laptop with the new operating system. But any man wanting to indulge his cravings for new toys knows he must convince his S.O. to go along with it. A tall order.

Operation Convince Cathi hit an immediate roadblock, as she resorted to cool logic against my heated passions. "You don't need a new laptop. There's nothing wrong with your old one. It's only two years old."

"The new laptop will have a 64 bit dual core processor. It'll have a larger front side bus and bigger L2 cache. Plus it will come with the newest operating system as a bonus!"

I thought if I threw enough jargon in there she'd feel out of her league.

"So there are things you want to do that your current laptop can't do?" she countered.

Ooh, she's sneaky.

"No, but the new computer can do it faster, and it'll look cooler while doing it." I could've bitten my tongue clean off after saying that. I don't think that sold her.

Even Cathi's 10-year-old granddaughter, Lauryn, chimed in.

"You don't need a new laptop. You want a new laptop."

She's easy to pacify, though. All I have to do is remind her that she doesn't need new Bratz dolls; she just wants them and can do without. She'll see things my way.

Operation Convince Cathi continues and I'm confident that next week's column will be written on a new laptop boasting the new operating system.

I just have to come up with better arguments. It just seems that no matter how I dress it up, I'm still saying that my old G.I. Joe is no good and I want the new one with the Kung Fu Grip.