BEING BETTER HUMANS

Make baby steps of kindness in 2011
By Kelvin Wade
December 30, 2010

With 2011 on the horizon, many people are preparing New Year's resolutions that they'll never keep. By Martin Luther King Day, you will have blown your diet, let the house get messy again or traded in exercise for TV watching.

Hey, I've been there. However, I've already embarked upon something that will define life from now on. And that is taking baby steps of kindness.

I was at Starbucks a month ago with a friend. While she was telling me something, I couldn't focus on her words because a serviceman in fatigues walked in and stood in line. Something impelled me to go up and purchase his coffee and pastry, shake his hand and thank him for his service. He was very appreciative and I decided there on the spot I would repeat this small gesture as often as I could.

I went home and looked up ways to send service members letters and packages.

Little things mean a lot.

There are people on my street who have been a big problem for the neighborhood. Police have been called. CPS has been called. It's been awful dealing with their constant partying, frequent fighting and unruly kids.

This past Christmas our Neighborhood Watch group had Christmas dinner delivered to the problem neighbors' house. Cathi and I purchased gifts for the children. We didn't expect our gesture to solve the problems in that household but we couldn't let their behavior dictate our own.

Readers know the work Lauryn and Vika's parents and I have done with the kids. Both kids are doing very well with Vika being the star of his kindergarten class and Lauryn bringing home As and Bs.

The Fairfield-Suisun School District has a 27 percent dropout rate. That's horrendous. What if parents seized control of their kids' education? What if extended family and church members got involved to help these young people stay in school?

And how about reading to young children? Help them start a love of books. I was so happy that one of the presents that elicited the best squeals of pleasure from Vika on Christmas was receiving his favorite book.

It's too easy to be that guy who cuts someone off in traffic, flips someone the bird or complains when you have to wait in line. How about we make a conscious effort not to be that person?

What if we decide not to be the guy carrying on the loud cell phone call in public? Suppose we respect our surroundings enough to not have a screaming argument in public? What if we don't retaliate against bad drivers?

What if we volunteered once a month doing something for our neighbors and/or community?

What if we could find $5 to donate to a charity every month? It's not much. But every little bit helps.

And if we can't be part of the solution, what if we just made an effort to not be part of the problem?

What if a significant number of us made these small changes? What kind of community would we have?

Happy new year. Peace.

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ADDITIONAL NOTES: A cynic would say this is what a lot of Vicodin onboard produces. But it's really something I've been pursuing. The incident with the serviceman at Starbucks was something I thought of doing a long time ago but I never did. Between that first thought and the time I eventually got up and did it, I must've seen a dozen military personnel. And each time, I thought, "I should do it."

Thinking doesn't get it done.

My mother was a very compassionate person. I know, everyone's mother was a saint. Yes, like everyone, she had her flaws but she would never be cruel to someone. She was always willing to help those in need. So lately I've been asking a lot more, "What would mom do?"

There are so many people we know and come across who seem to just exist to make others miserable. I want to do something totally different. I want my interactions with people to be positive. I at least want to try. Being negative is just too easy. Being a jerk is too easy. Believe me, I know.