BULLIES BEWARE
Standing up to bullies
By Kelvin Wade
March 17, 2011
On the Internet, a video has gone viral of 10th-grader Casey Heynes from Sydney, Australia, body-slamming another kid who was bullying him. In the video, a smaller kid is seen taunting Casey and punching him. Casey suddenly lashes out, grabs his tormentor and picks him up and bodyslams the boy to the ground. Then he calmly walks away while the bully hobbles around in a daze.
Unfortunately, both Casey and the bully were suspended for four days for violence. Many schools have this policy that suspends both students no matter who started the fight. What kind of message is that? What kind of society deems self-defense as the equivalent of attacking someone?
I know school officials, whether in Australia or the U.S., would say the proper response is to walk away and tell a teacher. And I agree that if a child can get away from their bully and alert school officials that would be the proper step. But the reality isn't so easy.
When I was in junior high at Grange I saw many kids turn their backs and try to walk away from bullies. The bullies didn't stop raining blows and tormenting them just because their back was turned. It's absurd to tell kids they must render themselves a victim or they're as bad as the perpetrator.
There's a lot of pressure on kids to not snitch. Victims are afraid to tell because they don't want to get it worse from the bullies in the future. That's why teachers and other school officials need to keep an eye out themselves for bullying and also to recruit other kids to report bullying.
Parents have to be involved to nip this in the bud immediately. Last year, James Willie Jones of Sanford, Fla., made the news when he stormed aboard a school bus after his 13-year-old daughter, who suffers from cerebral palsy, was bullied. Jones threatened the kids and the bus driver and was subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct.
Now parents obviously don't need to go as far as Jones did, but one can understand his frustration. Parents need to stay on top of school officials to stop bullying.
And while schools, parents and students need to do what they can to stop bullying, sometimes bullies just need to be stood up to. Sometimes a little self-defense can go a long way in discouraging bullies.
I had a friend in seventh grade named Larry. At 6 feet tall and two bills, Larry was big for his age. I once saw him trying to bully this small kid with glasses. What Larry didn't know (and I did) was this kid was a brown belt in karate. The kid jumped up, did some kind of Chuck Norris maneuver and Larry hit the ground like a wounded animal. They became friends after that.
I'm not encouraging kids to fight. Responding physically should always be the last resort. And when force is used, it should be appropriate. After our video hero, Casey the Punisher, bodyslammed his bully, he could've stomped a mud hole in the kid and walked it dry. But he didn't. He used enough force to stop the bully and then left the scene.
So while schools, parents and kids should work together to stop bullying, some bullies only understand a stiff response. Everyone deserves the right to defend themselves. Peace.
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ADDITIONAL NOTES: Sometimes bullies need to be stood up to. When I was in jr. high, there were a group of guys who used to regularly harass people and beat them up and stuff. Don't know where they are today and don't care. Prison would be my first guess, though. Some of the kids they picked on became my friend because A) I'm cool. Wouldn't you wanna know me? And B) those punks never tried that stuff with me. It wasn't because I was some badass. But I was a big kid and at heart, bullies are cowards. They don't want an even fight.
By all means, talk things out. Squash things verbally. That's the ideal way to handle it. There are so many cases where people started off hating each other and became friends. It happens. A lot of these instances can be handed and put to bed right there on the playground without blowing up into a big deal.
But I think we do a disservice when we take away a child's right to self-defense. I get it. I know why schools implement a zero tolerance policy. We don't want a bunch of fights on the playground. And self-defense is different from hitting someone back. A lot of kids hit someone and then that kid chases the other and hits him back. It's not getting even. If someone attacks you, you have the right to defend yourself. Block their blows, duck, strike them or sling them to the ground and then exit the situation. School officials don't want to be in the position of adjudicating fights, sorting out the details and punishing the guilty. I get it. It's time consuming and you have to have credible witnesses and most of the time it will be he said-he said.
I'm not a violent person. I always prefer to talk my way out of any situation. But no one is putting their hands on me. No one has the right to do that. And I won't allow it.
By Kelvin Wade
March 17, 2011
On the Internet, a video has gone viral of 10th-grader Casey Heynes from Sydney, Australia, body-slamming another kid who was bullying him. In the video, a smaller kid is seen taunting Casey and punching him. Casey suddenly lashes out, grabs his tormentor and picks him up and bodyslams the boy to the ground. Then he calmly walks away while the bully hobbles around in a daze.
Unfortunately, both Casey and the bully were suspended for four days for violence. Many schools have this policy that suspends both students no matter who started the fight. What kind of message is that? What kind of society deems self-defense as the equivalent of attacking someone?
I know school officials, whether in Australia or the U.S., would say the proper response is to walk away and tell a teacher. And I agree that if a child can get away from their bully and alert school officials that would be the proper step. But the reality isn't so easy.
When I was in junior high at Grange I saw many kids turn their backs and try to walk away from bullies. The bullies didn't stop raining blows and tormenting them just because their back was turned. It's absurd to tell kids they must render themselves a victim or they're as bad as the perpetrator.
There's a lot of pressure on kids to not snitch. Victims are afraid to tell because they don't want to get it worse from the bullies in the future. That's why teachers and other school officials need to keep an eye out themselves for bullying and also to recruit other kids to report bullying.
Parents have to be involved to nip this in the bud immediately. Last year, James Willie Jones of Sanford, Fla., made the news when he stormed aboard a school bus after his 13-year-old daughter, who suffers from cerebral palsy, was bullied. Jones threatened the kids and the bus driver and was subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct.
Now parents obviously don't need to go as far as Jones did, but one can understand his frustration. Parents need to stay on top of school officials to stop bullying.
And while schools, parents and students need to do what they can to stop bullying, sometimes bullies just need to be stood up to. Sometimes a little self-defense can go a long way in discouraging bullies.
I had a friend in seventh grade named Larry. At 6 feet tall and two bills, Larry was big for his age. I once saw him trying to bully this small kid with glasses. What Larry didn't know (and I did) was this kid was a brown belt in karate. The kid jumped up, did some kind of Chuck Norris maneuver and Larry hit the ground like a wounded animal. They became friends after that.
I'm not encouraging kids to fight. Responding physically should always be the last resort. And when force is used, it should be appropriate. After our video hero, Casey the Punisher, bodyslammed his bully, he could've stomped a mud hole in the kid and walked it dry. But he didn't. He used enough force to stop the bully and then left the scene.
So while schools, parents and kids should work together to stop bullying, some bullies only understand a stiff response. Everyone deserves the right to defend themselves. Peace.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ADDITIONAL NOTES: Sometimes bullies need to be stood up to. When I was in jr. high, there were a group of guys who used to regularly harass people and beat them up and stuff. Don't know where they are today and don't care. Prison would be my first guess, though. Some of the kids they picked on became my friend because A) I'm cool. Wouldn't you wanna know me? And B) those punks never tried that stuff with me. It wasn't because I was some badass. But I was a big kid and at heart, bullies are cowards. They don't want an even fight.
By all means, talk things out. Squash things verbally. That's the ideal way to handle it. There are so many cases where people started off hating each other and became friends. It happens. A lot of these instances can be handed and put to bed right there on the playground without blowing up into a big deal.
But I think we do a disservice when we take away a child's right to self-defense. I get it. I know why schools implement a zero tolerance policy. We don't want a bunch of fights on the playground. And self-defense is different from hitting someone back. A lot of kids hit someone and then that kid chases the other and hits him back. It's not getting even. If someone attacks you, you have the right to defend yourself. Block their blows, duck, strike them or sling them to the ground and then exit the situation. School officials don't want to be in the position of adjudicating fights, sorting out the details and punishing the guilty. I get it. It's time consuming and you have to have credible witnesses and most of the time it will be he said-he said.
I'm not a violent person. I always prefer to talk my way out of any situation. But no one is putting their hands on me. No one has the right to do that. And I won't allow it.
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