A TALE OF TWO NOVEMBERS MAKES ME GRATEFUL

Thanksgiving Day November 24, 2011

A tale of two Novembers makes me thankful
by Kelvin Wade


At first glance, I can’t really blame folks if they find it difficult to be thankful this Thanksgiving. A casual look around reveals a lot of sad, troubling news.

We have a thoroughly constipated and useless federal government. The parties fight like two kids in a sandbox.

If you don’t have a job or are uncertain about your employment, it’s hard to be thankful right now. Too many people are losing their homes. If your house is underwater or you’re behind on your mortgage payments and you’re dodging bill collectors’ phone calls, it’s difficult to see a silver lining in your situation.

A study released this week from the nonprofit Wider Opportunities for Women finds that 45 percent of Americans live in economically insecure households. That’s defined as the inability to pay for basic needs such as food, utilities and transportation.

Protestors in the streets, in parks and on campuses remind us of the vast disparity in wealth and how the middle class and poor have seen the American dream vanish while big banks, through their government puppets, helped themselves to our money.

There’s the horrific situation at Penn State. And last week saw the senseless murder of Vallejo Police Officer Jim Capoot. It makes it difficult to stay positive.

On Thanksgiving Day, I’m going to be sitting across from my grandkids while their dad is on his way to Afghanistan. So many families have loved ones in far-away places. It makes it difficult to feel thankful.

However, for me, it’s easy to be grateful. This time last year, Cathi and I were sharing a huge margarita in a little open-air restaurant in Zihuatanejo, Mexico, trying to beat the 85 degree heat and humidity. We watched the tourists and street vendors parade by. We saw fisherman carrying massive marlins and other fish up from the pier. It was the kind of day you want to last forever.

It’s easy for me to be grateful because I contrast last November with where I was the November before. Two years ago, I was in the ICU for Thanksgiving. Among other things, two medications I’d been prescribed combined to nearly shut down my kidneys and put me on the brink of dialysis. It was the most horrific hospital experience I’ve had. I was connected to beeping machines by wires and tubes.

The doctor was concerned that I would develop sepsis and crash. My condition was worse than I’d been letting on to my brothers. So I stayed up one night just writing my thoughts on a tablet and it morphed into a goodbye letter for my family in case I took a turn for the worse. Facing an uncertain outcome alone during a festive occasion that normally brings people together had a way of focusing the mind on what was truly important.

The next morning I was doing better and was moved to a private room. Just the sight of a tree outside the window was a beautiful thing to me at that point.

When I think of those two disparate November experiences, I know that there are always silver linings if we care to look for them.

You don’t need a near-death experience to show you what matters in life. We already know. Sometimes we just need a reminder.

As William DeVaughn, in his grammatically challenged way, would say, “just be thankful for what you got.”

Have a happy Thanksgiving. Peace.
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ADDITIONAL NOTES: You have to be able to look at what you have and be grateful with it. It's the only way to be happy. It's the only way I know at least. I went looking and dug up photos from both of those November experiences. The hospital one...I look happy because I never want to take depressed looking pics in the hospital. I'm that type of stoic guy who acts like everything is fine when it's all going to hell. I don't know any other way to be. That's my personality. But it was a dismal experience. Urinating blood, attached to monitors, taking awful medications, being poked and prodded...and the worst part of that experience I don't even want to write here. But I contrast it to last November. Oh man, that was heavenly. The margaritas were da bizness! And the chicken enchilada was the best I've had. Things change. Things always change somehow. And if they don't change, you have to change your perspective. Life is so short. Find that peace of mind. I've found it through gratitude.