PREPARE FOR THE END OF LIFE NOW.

February 16, 2012 | Daily Republic
Put your final wishes on paper
by Kelvin Wade

It was Friday, Aug. 18, 2006. My brother Tony called and told me that our mother passed away.

It wasn’t a shock. Two-and-a-half months earlier on her first trip to a medical facility for dialysis, an incompetent private medical transport worker failed to secure her wheelchair in the transport van. Our mother rolled backward out of the back of the truck and toppled to the pavement, striking her head on the ground.

Since then we’d watched our mother’s health decline rapidly. She complained of headaches and vision problems, in addition to the bruising on her arms. Life from that point on became a blur of hospital trips from La Mariposa Care and Rehabilitation Center to NorthBay Medical Center for our mother. While we were trying to get our mother proper medical care, we were also consulting with a law firm about her horrific spill from the medical transport van.

Our mother contracted MRSA — a difficult-to-treat infection — and we’d have to suit up in mask and gloves to visit her in the hospital. Soon it became difficult for her to swallow and she stopped eating and had to be fed through a gastric tube. She eventually lost consciousness.

End-of-life decisions are difficult. These are discussions that should be had between patients and their families and their doctor. This type of counseling was what the Affordable Care Act tried to provide and was shamelessly mischaracterized as “death panels” for cheap political gain by political hacks.

A new poll released by California HealthCare Foundation this week found that two-thirds of Californians would like to die a natural death and only 7 percent would want all possible care to prolong their lives. But the real surprising finding was that while 82 percent believe it’s important to have end-of-life decisions in writing, only 23 percent have actually done so.

It’s not a subject people really want to think about, let alone discuss and actually put into writing.

Prior to our mother’s death, the doctors asked us if we wanted to remove her feeding tube. It was an emotionally agonizing decision to think about removing our mother’s source of sustenance and letting her starve to death. We afford animals more dignity than that.

It made me think of the Terri Schiavo case and how Congress became involved in a family decision. I couldn’t imagine a violation like that. It’s difficult enough to handle end-of-life matters without the government getting involved.

The day after our mother passed, Orvis and Tony and I went out for lunch. Our younger brother Scott lived in Canada and would come down later for the memorial service. We ate in silence for a moment before gradually acknowledging that we all felt relieved that our mother wasn’t suffering. Beyond that, we were relieved that she passed before we had to make the call on the feeding tube.

Now is the time to sit down and fill out an advance directive. See your doctor who can explain what end-of-life measures mean and which ones you want. Those discussions and decisions are best made early and put in writing before the time comes. It can make a painful, emotional time a bit easier. Peace.