RUSH ISSUES PATHETIC APOLOGY

March 08, 2012 | Daily Republic
Rush issues non-apology apology
by Kelvin Wade

A political firestorm has engulfed right-wing radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh after he referred to a coed last week as a “slut” and a “prostitute” for wanting insurers to cover contraception. But Rush actually went beyond that. He went on the attack repeatedly using the words for three days. He said her parents should be ashamed of her. He leeringly said he wanted her to post sex videos online so he could watch. He asked who paid for her condoms in junior high.

It’s a truly disgusting performance.

Most right-wing politicians remained silent and the few that spoke out did so gingerly. The bulk of conservative response went to pointing out transgressions of the political left. This is kindergarten stuff. You don’t excuse bad behavior by pointing to other bad behavior.

As conservative pundit David Frum wrote in a recent column, “Most fundamentally, why the impulse to counter one outrageous stunt by rummaging through the archives in search of some supposedly offsetting outrageous stunt? Why not respond to an indecent act on its own terms?”

People can boycott Rush’s advertisers and pressure them to give up on his show, like many have. Ultimately, Rush could simply go to pay-radio like Howard Stern and Dr. Laura and be as racist, homophobic and misogynistic as his little heart desires.

But what I can’t stand is the insincere non-apology apology.

Rush Limbaugh issued a written “apology” where he went on the attack and then tacked on two sentences at the end: “My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.’’

Your word choices weren’t the best? Is he saying he should’ve referred to Ms. Fluke as “easy” instead of a “slut?” Does he wish he would’ve called her a “call girl” instead of “prostitute?” Should he have asked for phone sex instead of sex videos?

Apologies are a joke today. They’re no different than what we have toddlers do. If Jimmy hits Timmy with a plastic shovel in the sandbox, we force Jimmy to apologize. Jimmy spits out the obligatory “Sorry” and carries on like nothing happened. No lesson is learned. Nothing has been resolved except Jimmy got to use the perfunctory apology as a get-out-of-jail free card.

Rush isn’t apologizing from some sense of heartfelt sorrow or remorse. If the “national stir” hadn’t resulted from his prolonged attack, would he have been driven by remorse to apologize? Does he feel that he’s done anything wrong? Or is he merely apologizing to hold onto sponsors and do damage control?

These days apologies never seem to be motivated by true contrition. When celebrities and politicians dole them out, they’re more PR theatrics to quell fallout than a sincere admission of wrongdoing and offer to make amends.

If someone doesn’t feel what he or she said was wrong, why apologize? Apologies without sincerity and no follow through to change one’s behavior are pointless. Apologies should come from within, motivated by the realization that you’ve wronged someone.

I admire the coed, Sandra Fluke, for not accepting Limbaugh’s apology. We need to reject insincere apologies from serial offenders who are using apologies for damage control.

Maybe we have to start this off with kids. Don’t force Jimmy to offer a rote apology. Teach him empathy so he’ll want to apologize. Peace.

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ADDITIONAL NOTES: Rush said he was just trying to be absurd. Okay. The problem is it doesn't work. Armstrong and Getty could've said that bit about watching sex videos and made it funny. Rush came off sounding and looking like a man with his pants around his ankles, leering. Totally creepy. But as he said, he's been doing this a long, long time. He knows better. And if he was having any qualms about his word choices he wouldn't have continued day after day.

And then there are all the conservatives embarrassing themselves running around pointing the finger at Jon Stewart and Bill Maher as if it somehow exonerates Rush Limbaugh. This is what a flippin' five year old does. "But Billy was doing it, too!!!" C'mon. Read David Frum's piece. He's a conservative who worked for George W. Bush.

But this is really about that phony apology. I'm sick of 'em. Stop apologizing to say your damn job. That's weak. Don't apologize if you don't feel like you've done anything wrong. Don't apologize if you don't see the harm you've caused. Don't apologize if you aren't willing to take steps to prevent it from happening again. Tired of these weak ass apologies everyone issues just to get out of hot water. And we start this nonsense off by cheapening apologies by forcing kids to apologize when they clearly don't feel it.

A true apology works miracles between two people. Sometimes all a person wants is the other person to "get it", that they've wronged them and be truly repentent about it. That's it. We've watered apologies down to nothing.