Not captivated by CAPTCHAs


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Does anyone like CAPTCHAs?
By Kelvin Wade
|

I’m all for computer security, but I can’t stand CAPTCHAs.

What’s a CAPTCHA? It stands for the Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. It’s a little test you usually encounter when logging into a website or posting a comment on a website. The test usually has the user copy a word that is either behind crisscrossed lines or the word is distorted. It is to make sure the responder is a human and not a computer program trying to access the site.

Evidently, computers have difficulty with CAPTCHAs.

What makes them think that anyone has any experience in deciphering words that look like someone wrote them during an earthquake? I feel like in order to practice deciphering CAPTCHAs I should try to read a book while hammered. Sometimes they’ll overlap the letters to make it more difficult. This usually results in me making several attempts to get it right.

If the CAPTCHA is too difficult, you can always click on a button that will give you a different one. It’s like trading a trigonometry test for calculus. There’s no guarantee the next one will be any easier.

If you still can’t get it, you can click on a button that will give you an audio CAPTCHA. It usually features a computer generated female voice saying a word behind a wall of white noise. I don’t trust the audio CAPTCHAs because there’s probably a subliminal message in there compelling me to buy Viagra or something. Besides, it’s hard to hear that word behind all that noise.

On top of the CAPTCHA madness are passwords. We have to remember passwords often before we ever get to the CAPTCHA quiz.

Computer experts recommend that we change our passwords often and not use the same password for multiple websites and email accounts. They also recommend strong passwords between six and nine characters with at least one capital letter and one number. They recommend not using a dictionary word, proper noun or personal information. That’s all good, but how are we supposed to remember it? And how are we supposed to remember this long combination of letters and numbers while changing it frequently and having different ones for different sites? You’d have to be a robot to remember them all! And if you are a robot, you can’t get by the CAPTCHA!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten a password. To forget your password and have to do one of the squiggly CAPTCHAs on top of that is enough to make you want to hurl your computer out the window.

We’re not used to remembering numbers anymore. Smartphones have made us dumber. Who can even remember their friends’ phone numbers anymore? They’re all just programmed in there.

I know that these things keep hackers and Internet bots from running roughshod over the Net. I get it. But it’s frustrating.

The Daily Republic website uses CAPTCHAs — I guess to screen out the possibility of Internet bots, robots and androids commenting on stories. Although, given the choice between a robot and the musings of some commenters, I’d like to hear what R2D2 has to say.

Yes, they’re necessary, but I still hate CAPTCHAs. Peace.

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