I believe Michael Jackson was a pedophile

I was unfriended by a Facebook friend for the sin of watching the new HBO documentary “Leaving Neverland” and finding the two men accusing Michael Jackson of child molestation credible. Being unfriended made me laugh because she wasn't upset with me. She, like millions of other Jackson fans, hate having their worst fears confirmed. They don't want this to be true. I don't either.

Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five were a huge part of my childhood. From the albums to television specials to cartoons to solo albums I loved the Jacksons. Being an African-American family of five boys I felt a connection to the Jackson Five. 

However the truth about Michael Jackson seemed obvious after the first accusation of child molestation by Jordan Chandler in 1993. We'd never seen Jackson date a woman or a man for that matter. His home was a child magnet of carnival rides, a zoo and sleepovers with popcorn and movies in his private theater. He would take children on shopping sprees letting them have whatever they wanted. Classic grooming behavior. Everywhere he went he always seemed to be holding the hand of a young boy. Never a young girl. 

And no one mentally healthy could obliterate themselves through countless plastic surgeries and procedures. I'm no psychologist but you can't look at a photo of the dark skinned, big nosed, thick lipped Michael Jackson in the inside cover of the 1978 Destiny album and the pixie-ish ghost of a man announcing the This Is It concerts in 2009 and conclude that this was a psychologically fit man.

I read Chandler's deposition and it's not much different from the relationship “Leaving Neverland” subjects James Safechuck and Wade Robson describe. It's just as graphic. And learning back in 1993 that Jackson had alarms in the hallway leading to his bedroom pointed to his guilt. 

Then there came the 2003 “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary where Jackson boasted about sleeping in bed with little boys. He said the most loving thing one could do was share their bed, baffling millions. 

His sudden marriages to Lisa Marie Presley and Debbie Rowe seemed to be obvious beards attempting to show the public he was interested in women and not young boys.

Yet I still was a Jackson fan. I still listened to his music His talent was undeniable. His charm, charisma, stage presence and seeming innocent demeanor was seductive. Though I suspected he was a pedophile there was no clear proof of it. And like many fans, after Jackson's 2005 acquittal, it gave us a rationale to continue to believe Jackson innocent. Many fans today point to his acquittal as proof he did nothing improper. 

But R. Kelly was seen on video sexually assaulting an underage girl and he was acquitted, too. Hardcore defenders of Kelly blame the parents of the young girls, the girls themselves for being “fast” and any other rationalization to keep from having to acknowledge what R. Kelly has done.

Like the Facebook friend who unfriended me, many Jackson defenders haven't seen the documentary. And I don't think viewing the documentary would necessarily change their minds. Like the hardcore fans of Donald Trump who can rationalize any of his misdeeds, the hardcore Jackson fans cannot allow the possibility of doubt. I don't believe seeing a video of Michael Jackson molesting a child would change their minds. I don't say that as an insult. I mean the human mind has the limitless ability to rationalize. When there's a strong core belief and losing that belief would cause tremendous pain, facts be damned. 

Jackson's music has been an indelible part of our lives. The songs speak to us. His videos were groundbreaking. And the idea of an innocent selfless childlike man who loves children and wants to heal the world is a beautiful and powerful idea. Adding the monstrous mental image of a grown man masturbating while a 7 year old boy crouches displaying his anus on the edge of his bed to that image is rightly horrendous. Incongruous. Unacceptable.

For those saying the man is dead and we should let him rest in peace, it's another rationalization. If Jackson were alive and these men were making these accusations, these same people would come up with a different defense of why we should let it go.

The parents of these boys are savaged and blamed for leaving their children with a grown man. There's no doubt that these parents bear the responsibility of not protecting their children. But that's not a defense of Michael Jackson's alleged behavior

.

Jackson's accusers are often dismissed as only being interested in money. If that were truly the case they could've shaken down Jackson when he was alive. When Jackson pressured Wade Robson into committing perjury during the 2005 trial, Robson could've told Jackson he wanted a million dollars to do it. He didn't.

And if someone devastates your life with horrific abuse why shouldn't you sue an estate that's rumored to be worth a billion dollars now? Why be silent? Why not be compensated for your pain, therapy and suffering?

Actor Corey Feldman penned a defense of Jackson on Twitter saying he and many other boys spent the night with Jackson and nothing happened. But that's not a defense. Ted Bundy didn't kill every woman he came into contact with. Pedophile priests don't molest every single altar boy that serve with them. It can be true that Feldman and others slept in Jackson's bed and nothing happened, while at the same time Jackson molested other boys. Sexual predators are good at selecting victims.

Do I know for sure that Michael Jackson molested James Safechuck and Wade Robson? No, I wasn't there. But they were. They knew Michael Jackson and all of these defenders just knew his public face. However, the two seem credible in their stories and demeanor.

We can't dance on the musical grave of R. Kelly, champion Christine Blasey Ford in her testimony against Brett Kavanaugh, say that victims deserve to be heard and dismiss Jackson's accusers out of hand.

It's hard to accept that someone who brought the world such joy could also do something so monstrous. That's what stops so many from even considering that it could be true. For many it's difficult to separate the art from the artist but it's what I must do if I want to continue to enjoy his art.

I believe Safechuck and Robson. I also believe Michael Jackson was a tortured sick soul. We may never know what kind of horrors were visited upon a young Michael. There are rumors upon rumors about what happened in Michael Jackson's own childhood. It's just a profound shame that the man who sang, “Have you seen my childhood?” has left many boys feeling the same way.