Darwin Awards Here I Come
I feel that I've talked about and written about the accident so much in the past week that there's nothing left to say. Now it's a matter of getting better.
The road rash injuries are healing faster than I expected them to. They are less painful day by day. The stitches and bruising on my right leg are more problematic, increasing in pain and raising the specter of infection, my biggest nemesis. I'm on a course of antibiotics to try to stave off a battle that could send me to the hospital.
Both kids are doing fine. They were not hurt in the accident. I think Lauryn and I are both somewhat shell shocked by the experience. The first time I drove since the accident, Lauryn was with me and I could tell she was uneasy. As was I. There's a psychological component after a car accident. Most people aren't at the scene of their accident every day like I am. It's hard not to obsess over it.
I wrack my brain thinking about the incident and how it could've been prevented. And it could've been prevented in any number of small ways. If I had not been distracted by the things on my mind, it would not have happened. If I'd fastened Vike into his car seat before starting the car, it wouldn't have happened. If Lauryn hadn't hurt her fingers, she would've been able to fasten Vika in and I would've never gotten out of the car. If Lauryn could've fastened him, I wouldn't have had to do it. If I could've just made sure I put the car in PARK, it wouldn't have happened. If I would've gotten in the car, stepped on the brake and THEN released the parking brake, it wouldn't have happened. And of course, it Lauryn had hit the brake pedal instead of the accelerator, I wouldn't be jacked up.
But it happened. A series of unfortunate events led us down this road.
But there were fortunate events as well. It was fortunate that Lauryn stopped the car before it could hit anyone or strike a house. It was fortunate that I inadvertantly turned the steering wheel enough to wedge the van betweent the parked Camaro and a tree on the lawn across the street. It was fortunate that the car door only crossed my legs and not my upper body, or I could've been seriously injured. It was fortunate that the tires didn't go over any part of my body.
So why didn't I jump in the car and hit the brake? It wasn't that simple. I thought of it and knew I would only have one chance at it. i also knew that if my hand slipped or I stumbled, I could fall to the ground and the vehicle could've ran over me causing massive internal injuries. This has happened to people. I was struggling mightily with the car trying to stop its slide.
I initially rejected going to the hospital via ambulance mainly because of the kids. I wasn't sure if they would take the kids and there was no way I was leaving them. And if they did come, they would have to be at the side of my gurney in the ER room. I wouldn't have left them in the waiting room. And I didn't want them to have the memory of me in the ER wailing in pain with my fiery red road rash, blood dripping gash in my leg and massive bruising. That's not an image I wanted left in a 10 year old and 2 year old's mind. Part of it was machismo but the other part was wanting them to know I was okay. Lauryn told me later that when I went over the hood of the car that Kawika screamed. Now he's 2 and probably won't remember this but still, it troubles me.
But I did go to the ER later when it was just me and Cathi. 9 hours in the ER. Can't wait for Michael Moore's movie, "Sicko" about the American health care system. I think I could've filmed my own documentary that night.
This is the last I will write on the incident. I've gotten the feeling that people don't want to hear me talk about it. Perhaps it's upsetting to them or maybe they don't realize how much I've needed to talk about it. Nonetheless, this is it.
But this has made me more vigilant. Especially when operating a vehicle with the kids, it's important to stay in the moment.
Hopefully there won't be a next time.
The road rash injuries are healing faster than I expected them to. They are less painful day by day. The stitches and bruising on my right leg are more problematic, increasing in pain and raising the specter of infection, my biggest nemesis. I'm on a course of antibiotics to try to stave off a battle that could send me to the hospital.
Both kids are doing fine. They were not hurt in the accident. I think Lauryn and I are both somewhat shell shocked by the experience. The first time I drove since the accident, Lauryn was with me and I could tell she was uneasy. As was I. There's a psychological component after a car accident. Most people aren't at the scene of their accident every day like I am. It's hard not to obsess over it.
I wrack my brain thinking about the incident and how it could've been prevented. And it could've been prevented in any number of small ways. If I had not been distracted by the things on my mind, it would not have happened. If I'd fastened Vike into his car seat before starting the car, it wouldn't have happened. If Lauryn hadn't hurt her fingers, she would've been able to fasten Vika in and I would've never gotten out of the car. If Lauryn could've fastened him, I wouldn't have had to do it. If I could've just made sure I put the car in PARK, it wouldn't have happened. If I would've gotten in the car, stepped on the brake and THEN released the parking brake, it wouldn't have happened. And of course, it Lauryn had hit the brake pedal instead of the accelerator, I wouldn't be jacked up.
But it happened. A series of unfortunate events led us down this road.
But there were fortunate events as well. It was fortunate that Lauryn stopped the car before it could hit anyone or strike a house. It was fortunate that I inadvertantly turned the steering wheel enough to wedge the van betweent the parked Camaro and a tree on the lawn across the street. It was fortunate that the car door only crossed my legs and not my upper body, or I could've been seriously injured. It was fortunate that the tires didn't go over any part of my body.
So why didn't I jump in the car and hit the brake? It wasn't that simple. I thought of it and knew I would only have one chance at it. i also knew that if my hand slipped or I stumbled, I could fall to the ground and the vehicle could've ran over me causing massive internal injuries. This has happened to people. I was struggling mightily with the car trying to stop its slide.
I initially rejected going to the hospital via ambulance mainly because of the kids. I wasn't sure if they would take the kids and there was no way I was leaving them. And if they did come, they would have to be at the side of my gurney in the ER room. I wouldn't have left them in the waiting room. And I didn't want them to have the memory of me in the ER wailing in pain with my fiery red road rash, blood dripping gash in my leg and massive bruising. That's not an image I wanted left in a 10 year old and 2 year old's mind. Part of it was machismo but the other part was wanting them to know I was okay. Lauryn told me later that when I went over the hood of the car that Kawika screamed. Now he's 2 and probably won't remember this but still, it troubles me.
But I did go to the ER later when it was just me and Cathi. 9 hours in the ER. Can't wait for Michael Moore's movie, "Sicko" about the American health care system. I think I could've filmed my own documentary that night.
This is the last I will write on the incident. I've gotten the feeling that people don't want to hear me talk about it. Perhaps it's upsetting to them or maybe they don't realize how much I've needed to talk about it. Nonetheless, this is it.
But this has made me more vigilant. Especially when operating a vehicle with the kids, it's important to stay in the moment.
Hopefully there won't be a next time.
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