Fighting Back

Nonprofit targets domestic violence
By Kelvin Wade
December 10, 2009 2:25PM

My introduction to domestic violence came at the age of 9 when I was playing football with my friend Paul in his front yard.

A scream from within his house stopped the game cold. Suddenly, the front door swung open and Paul's mother stood in the doorframe, blood trickling from her nose. Behind her, Paul's dad grabbed her by the hair, pulled her back inside and slammed the door shut.

Watching the police arrive and take Paul's dad away, I was shocked. Paul was a good friend. My mom had coffee with his mom. They were the all-American family, at least on the outside. I never suspected that anything so awful was going on behind closed doors.

One in four women has or will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates 3 million women are physically abused by their partner every year.

Councilman John Mraz recently put me in touch with Claudia Humphrey, executive director of Lift3, a nonprofit organization that provides services to victims of domestic violence in Solano County. Lift3 offers shelter, counseling and job training so women without marketable job skills can be self-sufficient after leaving an abusive relationship.

On Dec. 18, there will be a dedication luncheon at Zio Fraedo's Restaurant in Vallejo for two new battered women's shelters sponsored by Lift3: Turning Point Battered Women's Crisis Shelter in Fairfield and Gateway House Transitional Shelter in Vallejo. The event will be attended by national leaders in the domestic violence field such as Dr. Oliver J. Williams and Marcus Pope of the Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community in St. Paul, Minn., and Jaycee Memminger, president of Angelic Impact in Detroit, among others.

One of the really fascinating aspects of what Lift3 does is it supports domestic violence education through the arts, sponsoring plays that educate the public. For some people, a dry recitation of statistics leaves them unmoved in a way that the dramatization of an abusive relationship wouldn't. It's an especially effective way to get the attention of young people.

Paul's mother may have been my initiation into domestic violence but it wasn't my last foray into that dark subject. As a young adult I had to call CPS on a good friend when I found he'd moved from battering his wife to his children. And then there was the horror when my own brother murdered his girlfriend and took his own life.

Whatever we can do to help women get out of those dangerous situations, we must do. We can do that by going to www.lift3supportgroup.com and making a tax deductible donation.

You can contact Rena Turner at 398-0307 to find out how to attend the dedication luncheon. Or you can browse the site and find the list of items the shelters need to better serve these women and donate those household goods.

With money tight, you can also help by donating your voice. Lift3 wants to hear survivors' stories.

This Christmas season we have the opportunity to change lives. What better gift could we give? Peace.