Don't be unsafe and insane!

Don’t have an unsafe and insane Fourth!
By Kelvin Wade

From page A11 | July 04, 2013 | Leave Comment

Today starts a holiday weekend of celebrating. The key is to get through this weekend without seeing anyone in a uniform – whether it’s a cop, fireman or paramedic.

Now Suisun City is doing a brisk business selling “safe and sane” fireworks. The proceeds will go toward the American Legion (and the various charities it supports) and two other nonprofits. The city will also receive some of the proceeds. That’s the good part.

While these fireworks are legal to use in Suisun City, they’re still illegal in Fairfield. And of course, I couldn’t imagine any Fairfielders purchasing fireworks and using them within the city limits. (Wink, wink.)

I hope you scofflaws are safe with those fireworks, because it’s hot and dry. The real problem is that the Fourth always sees its share of illegal fireworks. Illegal fireworks are ones that explode or fly through the air, such as  firecrackers, ladyfingers, M-60s, M-80s and bottle rockets. For some sad reason, irresponsible people are drawn to dangerous fireworks like moths to flame.

Everyone was young and dumb way back when. One Fourth of July, my brother Tony tossed an M-80 out the front door, down the walkway near where my friend Chumley and I were standing. The thunderous explosion left us in need of fresh underwear. We all laughed at the time, but it was dangerous.

And I once lit an M-80 and tossed it into the backyard. Our dog Smokey ran to fetch it. Fortunately, it exploded before he reached it. Unfortunately, a piece of the firework hurt his paw and the blast hurt his hearing. I was so horrified and ashamed that I destroyed the remaining fireworks I had. Don’t let this be you.

This idea that “it can’t happen to me” is a good way to end up in the emergency room on Independence Day.

Then there are those who choose to mark the occasion by discharging firearms into the air. Discovery Channel’s Mythbusters took on firing guns into the air and determined that a bullet fired straight into the air doesn’t come down with enough force to kill a person. However, it’s difficult to fire perfectly straight into the air, so most people fire at an angle. Bullets fired at an angle retain enough velocity to injure and/or kill.

I’m typing this column with a hollow-point bullet sitting next to my laptop. A contractor who did some work for me a few months ago found the bullet in a shingle on my roof. When he came down and handed it to me, my first thought was, “Wow, that really does happen!”

Aside from the fact that it’s illegal to fire a gun in the city under these circumstances and you might injure or kill someone, the other reason why the Fourth of July and guns don’t mix is that folks love to get their drink on during Independence Day barbecues. Alcohol and guns pretty much guarantee something bad is going to happen.

There are so many safer ways to celebrate the birth of this great nation. Fly your flags. There’s the annual Independence Day parade along Texas Street at 10 a.m. Suisun City’s celebrations kick off at 11 a.m. at Harbor Plaza and culminate at 9:15 p.m. with a fireworks show. Playing sports, eating good barbecue, having a few drinks, listening to music and watching professionals set off fireworks is a lot better way to spend your holiday than in the ER or jail. Peace.
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ADDITIONAL NOTES: One of the STUPIDEST things I've ever done was drive while my buddy Chumley lit M-80's, handed them to me and I tossed them out the window! They'd explode and drivers behind me would swerve all over the road. I can't believe I'm even telling this story. First off, you shouldn't be playing with M80s. Second, if you are playing with them, you shouldn't throw them out the window of a moving vehicle. Third, if you ARE throwing them out the window of a moving vehicle, you don't have the passenger light one and hand it to you! I could've dropped that in my lap and been neutered. That was just INSANE. A Darwin Award nomination just waiting to happen. I don't touch fireworks anymore of any kind. It just goes to show you that you can be as smart as me.....and still do major league idiotic things when you're young. Stupid. Stupid.

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