Big Daddy

Since the middle of June I've had the opportunity to take care of my girlfriend's grandkids, Lauryn, 9, and Kawika, almost 2. It's been quite the experience. Sometimes it's been hard....wanting my privacy, wanting some adult conversation, stretching my patience thin. But it's been rewarding, too. And for the first time I believe I could've done this. I could have done the daddy thing had I decided to go that route in life. It's a huge task and I can see why weak souls run out on it (not that I condone it).

It's hard being consistent. It's hard alwyas doing the right thing. It takes strength to discipline. I can't say that it hurts me more than it does them but kids don't realize that you'd much rather be having fun with your kids than scolding them. I realize that parents want to give their kids everything and I don't think the kids even realize that. It's hard for parents to have to say no. At least it's hard for me sometimes, but I do it. It has to be done.

It's given me a lot. It feels good to know inside that I could've done this. I was always afraid that I couldn't, that I would screw a kid up with my moodiness, restlessness and off the wall sense of humor. Plus, depression tends to run in my family.

The kids have been fun and continue to be fun. It's a matter of striking a balance between their needs and my own, though.

But I could've been a daddy.

No doubt.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remembering Matt Garcia

Image
Ten years ago, I woke up and turned on my laptop and went to the Daily Republic website and was devastated to learn of the shooting of Fairfield City Councilman Matt Garcia. I immediately called my brother Tony who answered and knew why I was calling. We shared our shock and horror. But mainly we just cried together on the phone. Later when Matt had been removed from life support and passed away I told Tony that it felt like hope itself had died. He told me, “Matt has inspired too many people to let hope die. But hope took a beating today.” It seemed like some horrible cosmic joke. Twenty-one year old Matt Garcia, elected to the Fairfield City Council on a platform of supporting youth and curbing violence is murdered on the streets of Fairfield. What's worse, his killer mistook him for someone else. It was a pointless act of evil in which a worthless example of a human being took the life of a priceless one. In 2007 Matt invited me to lunch at Joe's Buffet to discuss...
Read more

What if we could enforce our own driving laws?

Image
Thursday, June 6, 2013 Let’s all enforce our own driving laws By Kelvin Wade From page A11 | June 06, 2013 | Leave Comment Vallejo resident Anthony Cardenas, 52, became a local hero after painting his own crosswalk near his home on Sonoma Boulevard at Illinois Street. Cardenas claims the busy street is dangerous for pedestrians, so he painted the crosswalk and earned himself an arrest for felony vandalism and trip to jail for his trouble. Mr. Cardenas makes me want to place my tongue firmly in cheek and take matters into my own hands to make things safer. Have you ever had idiots zoom down your street in complete disregard for kids in the neighborhood? I’d love to creep outside at 3 a.m. with some cement and make my own speed bumps. The next time the speedsters come flying down my street, they’d make a sunroof with their own heads when they hit my new speed bump. BAM! Problem solved. Last week, my friend Nedra Polk asked me to write about the condition of Clay Bank Road between Air B...
Read more

The reason I've ditched my earphones at night

Monday, August 26, 2013 FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA Accident convinces me to ditch my iPad By Kelvin Wade From page A7 | August 22, 2013 | 4 Comments I’ve been an insomniac for years. I used to embrace my insomnia by putting on a pot of coffee at night and doing some of my best writing while the stars were out. I wrote about having a sleep study a couple of months ago and one of the things the analyst told me is I have to stay off my iPad in bed. That hasn’t happened. But recently, my girlfriend Cathi stumbled upon a cure for my nightly iPad habit. So there I was in the middle of the night in bed with earphones in listening to an awesome version of Paul McCartney and Wings’ “Live and Let Die” while pummeling various victims in “Words with Friends” on my iPad when I heard a boom. I turned on a lamp and saw my Beagle, Theo, panting at the bedroom door. I thought he’d jumped against the door to get my attention. Lately, he’s had to go out a lot at night (a dog with the bladder of a mouse...
Read more