Christmas 2007: The Wrap-up
Gag gifts and all, the holidays are fun
By Kelvin Wade | | December 26, 2007 16:14
I love the holiday season as much as the next guy, but I'm glad Christmas is over. There's only so much holiday cheer one can take. It can be hectic and exhausting. I'll give you some examples.
My girlfriend's grandson Kawika got a Hasbro Power Tour rock guitar for Christmas. It allows a kid to play loud rock guitar with no previous musical experience. It was hysterical to see this almost 3-year-old metamorphize into a rock god before our eyes. You had to be there to see the Eddie Van Halen-like fretwork, the Jimmy Page poses, the Chuck Berry-like struts and the clichŽd rock grimaces from Vika that had us in stitches. Of course, after his third encore, I was tempted to show him an old Who video so maybe he'd emulate Pete Townsend and smash his noise-making guitar on the coffee table.
Another example, one of the gag gifts I received was a 14-inch long barbecue lighter in the shape of Gumby. Who is this made for? Why are the little rubber arms on this lighter bendable? Are adults playing with these lighters?
No child even knows who Gumby is (or should I say was?) And if we're going after the Claymation nostalgia crowd, why not 'Davey and Goliath' or 'Mr. Bill' barbecue lighters? I received one of those Shark clamshell package openers. This was a smart invention because anyone who's tried to open that hard plastic clamshell packaging and ended up cussing like a truck driver or cutting one's hands knows this was one of the least consumer friendly packaging ever devised. The Shark is a tool that makes opening these packages a cinch.
The problem? It's packaged in clamshell packaging. I kid you not! This is like packaging the Ove Glove in a boiling liquid. What sadist was responsible for packaging this item?
Finally, one of the items we decided to get Kawika for Christmas was a Big Wheel. I remembered how much fun my brothers and I had with those babies and wanted the World's Smallest Chick Magnet to experience the same thrills.
Who knew you'd need to practically be a mechanic to put one of those things together? They should change the instructions on kids' toys from 'Some Assembly Required' to 'Build from Scratch.'
I was buried in parts and tools and diagrams on Christmas Eve and realized pretty quick that Santa wasn't going to be delivering this heaping helping of nostalgia on Christmas morn. Plus, Kawika's big sis Lauryn's amazing baby brother watching skills were on full display while I tried assembling the plastic tricycle from hell in my room on Christmas Eve.
I suddenly noticed Kawika standing right beside me while Lauryn laughed at some inane Disney show in the living room. I quickly directed Vika out of the room. He didn't make a scene so I doubt he knew what he was looking at. Santa Claus (or should I say my sweet Cathi Claus) was kind enough to give me an Apple iPhone for Christmas. It was either that or peace on earth and I'd been going back and forth between the two of them. It was a close call, but having a phone/iPod/Web browser in one? Turned out to be a Merry Christmas after all. Peace.
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Now, if you click on this LINK, it will take you to The Other Side so you can read my review of Paul Krugman's book. At the bottom of that review is a link to the Wading In blog where you can read about my fave Christmas gift.
My girlfriend's grandson Kawika got a Hasbro Power Tour rock guitar for Christmas. It allows a kid to play loud rock guitar with no previous musical experience. It was hysterical to see this almost 3-year-old metamorphize into a rock god before our eyes. You had to be there to see the Eddie Van Halen-like fretwork, the Jimmy Page poses, the Chuck Berry-like struts and the clichŽd rock grimaces from Vika that had us in stitches. Of course, after his third encore, I was tempted to show him an old Who video so maybe he'd emulate Pete Townsend and smash his noise-making guitar on the coffee table.
Another example, one of the gag gifts I received was a 14-inch long barbecue lighter in the shape of Gumby. Who is this made for? Why are the little rubber arms on this lighter bendable? Are adults playing with these lighters?
No child even knows who Gumby is (or should I say was?) And if we're going after the Claymation nostalgia crowd, why not 'Davey and Goliath' or 'Mr. Bill' barbecue lighters? I received one of those Shark clamshell package openers. This was a smart invention because anyone who's tried to open that hard plastic clamshell packaging and ended up cussing like a truck driver or cutting one's hands knows this was one of the least consumer friendly packaging ever devised. The Shark is a tool that makes opening these packages a cinch.
The problem? It's packaged in clamshell packaging. I kid you not! This is like packaging the Ove Glove in a boiling liquid. What sadist was responsible for packaging this item?
Finally, one of the items we decided to get Kawika for Christmas was a Big Wheel. I remembered how much fun my brothers and I had with those babies and wanted the World's Smallest Chick Magnet to experience the same thrills.
Who knew you'd need to practically be a mechanic to put one of those things together? They should change the instructions on kids' toys from 'Some Assembly Required' to 'Build from Scratch.'
I was buried in parts and tools and diagrams on Christmas Eve and realized pretty quick that Santa wasn't going to be delivering this heaping helping of nostalgia on Christmas morn. Plus, Kawika's big sis Lauryn's amazing baby brother watching skills were on full display while I tried assembling the plastic tricycle from hell in my room on Christmas Eve.
I suddenly noticed Kawika standing right beside me while Lauryn laughed at some inane Disney show in the living room. I quickly directed Vika out of the room. He didn't make a scene so I doubt he knew what he was looking at. Santa Claus (or should I say my sweet Cathi Claus) was kind enough to give me an Apple iPhone for Christmas. It was either that or peace on earth and I'd been going back and forth between the two of them. It was a close call, but having a phone/iPod/Web browser in one? Turned out to be a Merry Christmas after all. Peace.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Now, if you click on this LINK, it will take you to The Other Side so you can read my review of Paul Krugman's book. At the bottom of that review is a link to the Wading In blog where you can read about my fave Christmas gift.
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