CRAZY AS A BESSIE BUG

Out of political correctness, politeness and/or tact, we generally try to prevent small children from pointing out in a loud voice how fat someone is in a checkout line in a store or that someone is in a wheelchair or disabled in some way. If a man has one arm, most parents try to dissuade young Timmy from pointing out the obvious. But I think it’s time for the masters of the obvious to speak out about something going on in our world.

This week a British teacher was pardoned and released from a Sudanese jail after being sentenced to fifteen days for allowing a teddy bear to be named Mohammad. She could’ve been sentenced to 40 lashes. Some extremists called for her to be put to death for blasphemy.

This follows the fatwa issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini calling for author Salman Rushdie to be killed after publishing the novel, “The Satanic Verses” in the 80’s. It comes after the murder of Danish director Theo Van Gogh who directed a film about violence against women in Islamic societies. Then there were the riots and killings sparked by a Danish newspaper printing comic strips depicting the image of Mohammad in 2005. Finally, there was the recent case of a 19 year old Saudi woman who was gang-raped, who was sentenced to 6 months in jail and 200 lashes. Her crime? Meeting with an unrelated male when she was kidnapped and raped and speaking to the media about it.

I get the whole tolerance thing. I understand that all Muslims aren’t evil zealots out to kill us. I know we’re talking about a fringe. I’d like to think I have a decent understanding of Islam. And look, I’m going to go one better than saying I have Islamic friends, I have extended family who are Muslim.

With that said, if you’re a Muslim and you support any of the reactions to blasphemy I’ve outlined so far, as my late mother would say, ‘You’re as crazy as a Bessie bug.” I’ve never known what a Bessie Bug is but that’s you.

If you think that someone should be beaten or killed for naming a teddy bear something you disagree with, then you’re a cheap plastic toy away from a Happy Meal. Your elevator doesn’t stop at all floors. What I’m saying is that you’ve removed yourself from the boundaries of serious conversation not just here on earth but the entire Milky Way galaxy.

For us as humans to get along on this rock, there are certain baseline things we have to agree upon. It’s why I won’t own a cat. Have you seen the way they stare at things that aren’t there, leap at imaginary foes and only respond to their name being called intermittently? They’re not living in the same dimension as the rest of us.

If a cartoon can send you protesting into the streets, burning flags, overturning cars and wreaking havoc, perhaps it’s time to ask your doctor if Zoloft is right for you.

I know it’s not politically correct but maybe it’s time we get some red paint and just paint a line around the globe and tell all religious crackpots they need to stay on the other side of the line. We’ll stay over here. We’ll live in 2007. You can live in 600 A.D.

We’re all pretty good at ignoring the elephant in the room. Perhaps it’s time to unleash little Timmy, give him a bullhorn and let him go, “Mom! Dad! These people are crazy!” Peace.

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I know it's politically incorrect but damn it you see what's going on. And you know you agree. I'm not going to be tolerant or friendly or reverential to people's views when they're obviously nutjobs. This has been something I've been thinking about for a long time. When we see these outrages going on like with the Saudi rape victim, the rest of the world seems too timid to just come out and say, "Hey, you backwards assed Neanderthals, what's wrong with you?" Too many are afraid that it's going to come across as racist or elitist. No, it comes across as right.

This isn't about Muslims. It's not about that religion. The Vicar of Baghdad, Rev. Canon Andrew White said it best on 60 Minutes this week when he spoke of Christians being purged from Baghdad. He said that this is what happens when religion goes wrong. And he acknowledged that Christianity has gone wrong in the past. This is definitely what happens when sick individual meets an ideology and a religious belief. They use the religion to justify their warped world view.

There's no sense coddling them. I'm not going to pretend to understand people who could beat a gang rape victim. I'm not going to deal rationally with people who feel it's okay to kill children or behead people. And I shouldn't at this point have to acknowledge that I'm talking about a fringe element and not the entire religion. And if good and decent Muslims are afraid their faith will be unfairly tainted then they should make their voices the loudest in protest.