Enough With The Hate Stuff
Gay advocates' efforts misguided
By Kelvin Wade | | December 11, 2008 22:50
This week saw the 'Day Without A Gay' protest where gays were encouraged to call in 'gay' to work, take the day off and volunteer in their communities. It is patterned on the 'day without Latinos' protest that has been conducted on May 1 the past three years to protest immigration laws. This protest was fueled by the recent passage of Proposition 8 in California banning gay marriage.
While volunteering in one's community is admirable, I don't think the day is going to be a game changer in the gay marriage debate.
If we want to blame someone for Proposition 8's passage, first point the finger at the No on 8 campaign. The No on 8 campaign was an abomination. This was a measure that was losing by 17 points two months before the election.
Complacency obviously set in because they seemed caught off guard when the pro-Proposition 8 ads hit. There was virtually no outreach in the black community, where polling for years has consistently shown a greater resistance to gay marriage.
Opponents also let supporters disingenuously frame the debate by using Massachusetts education laws that are completely different from California law.
And, of course, there was the idiotic statement by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom that gay marriage was 'going to happen whether you like it or not.' What would have happened in the Presidential race if there'd been an ad with Al Sharpton standing in front of a raucous black crowd talking about Barack Obama's election saying, 'It's going to happen whether you like it or not.'
There have been too many accusing Proposition 8 supporters of bigotry and hate. Even on the 'Day Without A Gay' Web site it talks about taking a stance against hatred and implores people to 'fight the H8 with love.'
To be sure, there are bigots and haters out there, people who love the idea of a day without a gay for much different reasons. Those aren't the people gays should target anyway. But to use a broad brush and paint people you're trying to persuade as bigots and haters, you push away potential allies. It hardens hearts and minds.
I can understand the anger. To gay rights supporters, a civil right was taken away by popular vote. But the evidence is pretty clear that those voting for Proposition 8 viewed this as a moral issue, not a civil rights issue.
Too many gays assumed blacks would see them as kindred spirits in the fight against oppression. Religion plays a mighty role here tipping the scales toward morality instead of legality.
Moreover, most blacks don't see homosexuality and race being interchangeable. The crux of the issue among many blacks is that blackness is genetic and homosexuality may be a lifestyle choice.
To convince them otherwise, you have to reach out.
We should also never underestimate the fear of change. I believe there were many whites who feared desegregation, not because they hated blacks, but they feared the unknown of massive social change.
Time and logic appear to be on the side of gays. A Newsweek poll last week found support for gay marriage growing. Remember that at one time, most California voters opposed Proposition 8. The persuadable people are out there if you make the right argument and don't push them away by dubbing them haters. Peace.
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My column will probably satisfy no one. No one, that is, except the one it has to satisfy: me. I'm tired of proponents of gay rights/marriage labeling the opposition as hatemongers. It's too simplistic. It's sophomoric. And it denigrates those they should be trying to build coalitions with. Yes, there are haters out there. The so-called Rev. Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church are out there preaching hate. But that's not who passed Proposition 8. There were persuadable voters who were persuaded to vote for it for a variety of reasons. There were parents who had concerns about education after being blasted with misleading ads from the Yes on 8 camp. The No on 8 didn't successfully knock those arguments down. There was no outreach to blacks, when anyone with access to Google would know that blacks are, for the most part, anti-gay marriage. That's crazy that there wasn't outreach because everyone knew the black vote would be high this year due to passions for Obama. There are persuadables among those who believe that homosexuality is morally wrong. Many people are personally opposed to abortion yet are pro-choice because they don't believe the government should make that decision. Those types of voters could be persuaded that their personal moral and religious views on homosexuality shouldn't tie the hands of the state. The argument wasn't made.
This is where, I believe, the gay rights movement has diverged from the playbook of the Civil Rights Movement. In the push for black civil rights, there was a focus on fairness, justice and a nation living up to its creed. But what the movement didn't do was demonize all white people. That would've been counterproductive. The whole point was to appeal to peoples' conscience. You have to meet people where they are and lead them to where you want them to go.
The No on 8 vote was winning all year. The public is ready. It's ready. It's easy to dump on the Mormons, on the Catholics and on anyone who voted for Prop. 8. It's too easy to call them bigots and worse. And true, some are. But you're going to need allies, not enemies. And they're out there.
For the record: I voted against Proposition 8. I think gay people should have the right to be just as miserable as straight people.
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Dollar Tree stood up. Finally.
While volunteering in one's community is admirable, I don't think the day is going to be a game changer in the gay marriage debate.
If we want to blame someone for Proposition 8's passage, first point the finger at the No on 8 campaign. The No on 8 campaign was an abomination. This was a measure that was losing by 17 points two months before the election.
Complacency obviously set in because they seemed caught off guard when the pro-Proposition 8 ads hit. There was virtually no outreach in the black community, where polling for years has consistently shown a greater resistance to gay marriage.
Opponents also let supporters disingenuously frame the debate by using Massachusetts education laws that are completely different from California law.
And, of course, there was the idiotic statement by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom that gay marriage was 'going to happen whether you like it or not.' What would have happened in the Presidential race if there'd been an ad with Al Sharpton standing in front of a raucous black crowd talking about Barack Obama's election saying, 'It's going to happen whether you like it or not.'
There have been too many accusing Proposition 8 supporters of bigotry and hate. Even on the 'Day Without A Gay' Web site it talks about taking a stance against hatred and implores people to 'fight the H8 with love.'
To be sure, there are bigots and haters out there, people who love the idea of a day without a gay for much different reasons. Those aren't the people gays should target anyway. But to use a broad brush and paint people you're trying to persuade as bigots and haters, you push away potential allies. It hardens hearts and minds.
I can understand the anger. To gay rights supporters, a civil right was taken away by popular vote. But the evidence is pretty clear that those voting for Proposition 8 viewed this as a moral issue, not a civil rights issue.
Too many gays assumed blacks would see them as kindred spirits in the fight against oppression. Religion plays a mighty role here tipping the scales toward morality instead of legality.
Moreover, most blacks don't see homosexuality and race being interchangeable. The crux of the issue among many blacks is that blackness is genetic and homosexuality may be a lifestyle choice.
To convince them otherwise, you have to reach out.
We should also never underestimate the fear of change. I believe there were many whites who feared desegregation, not because they hated blacks, but they feared the unknown of massive social change.
Time and logic appear to be on the side of gays. A Newsweek poll last week found support for gay marriage growing. Remember that at one time, most California voters opposed Proposition 8. The persuadable people are out there if you make the right argument and don't push them away by dubbing them haters. Peace.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
My column will probably satisfy no one. No one, that is, except the one it has to satisfy: me. I'm tired of proponents of gay rights/marriage labeling the opposition as hatemongers. It's too simplistic. It's sophomoric. And it denigrates those they should be trying to build coalitions with. Yes, there are haters out there. The so-called Rev. Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church are out there preaching hate. But that's not who passed Proposition 8. There were persuadable voters who were persuaded to vote for it for a variety of reasons. There were parents who had concerns about education after being blasted with misleading ads from the Yes on 8 camp. The No on 8 didn't successfully knock those arguments down. There was no outreach to blacks, when anyone with access to Google would know that blacks are, for the most part, anti-gay marriage. That's crazy that there wasn't outreach because everyone knew the black vote would be high this year due to passions for Obama. There are persuadables among those who believe that homosexuality is morally wrong. Many people are personally opposed to abortion yet are pro-choice because they don't believe the government should make that decision. Those types of voters could be persuaded that their personal moral and religious views on homosexuality shouldn't tie the hands of the state. The argument wasn't made.
This is where, I believe, the gay rights movement has diverged from the playbook of the Civil Rights Movement. In the push for black civil rights, there was a focus on fairness, justice and a nation living up to its creed. But what the movement didn't do was demonize all white people. That would've been counterproductive. The whole point was to appeal to peoples' conscience. You have to meet people where they are and lead them to where you want them to go.
The No on 8 vote was winning all year. The public is ready. It's ready. It's easy to dump on the Mormons, on the Catholics and on anyone who voted for Prop. 8. It's too easy to call them bigots and worse. And true, some are. But you're going to need allies, not enemies. And they're out there.
For the record: I voted against Proposition 8. I think gay people should have the right to be just as miserable as straight people.
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Dollar Tree stood up. Finally.
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